Long time no see?

    Kind of an odd subject text since you really don't see me at all. At least not all of you. Well I first signed up for live journal because my friend said it was cool. Well I agree but I'm also a vary privet person when it comes to my thoughts and feeling and espasilay my writing. But I was thinking just the other day that I could use this as a launch site to other content as I publish it as well. I don't know if it's allowed but I'll see.
    Not a whole lot going on currently. I'm no longer twenty five but twenty six now. Shows you how often I use live journal. Note it's not due to it being a bad site but I'm used to me being the only one inside my head. I don't reallly have a lot to say but I thought I would write and see how every one is doing. I see my buddy was one just a few days ago and I'm glad he's keeping better post. Hopfully I will do the the. Well peps I'm going to go and hope to see you soon.
  • Current Mood
    calm calm

(no subject)

I've been felling like crap lately. I've been feeling like my life is never going to get better. Their are so many things I want to do in life and yet I have no drive to do them. I would love to write books for a living but I don't feel like I have a talent for it, I would also love to join the Army. It's been a dream of mine since I was a kid, but I have a seperated rotaer cuff in my shoulder and I know that my stop me from ever having a carrer in the armed forces. I try to stay possitve but just taking the trash out has become a task. I feel like staying in my room for the rest of my life and dying. I hate feeling like this, it's not me. I know I may be sounding like a wuss but sometimes I just feel lost and alone. I don't know hopfuly things will get better.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

Nothing ever changes.

 I know I haven't written for a bit now, and it kind of seems pointless to any way. I thought by coming to this site and putting my thoughts and feelings down for any one to see that I would find people out their who shared in my views. Maybe I'm just wasting my time on the net trying to find people to talk to that are with the myspace stuff that bugs me. Life for me hasn't changed that much and I must say I'm kind of glad. Well to any one who does read this or my previous witting let me know what you think. TO ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE ARMED FORCES  I SAY THANK YOU, STAY SAFE, WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU, AND MAY YOU COME HOME SAFE.
  • Current Mood
    blah blah

Court Day.

    Well I went to court today about my back child support. They said that if I couldn't prove why I wasn't paying I would be found guilty and have to serve up to sixty five days in jail. It went well and I go to court again on the twentieth of this month to find out more and try to defend my case. I love my son and am doing everything I can to break the cycle that I went through. My father and grandfather went through the same thing and the cycle has been passed down to me. I chose to fight tooth and nail to end this cycle and give my kids the chance to know me and have their father around. I feel so lost and alone when it comes to child support because I don't know any one who is going through the same thing. I really have no one to talk to about it who understands the legal side of it. I have my fiance and my best friend Dave who are helpful and listen but neither of them have kids so it is hard at time. I don't want to go to jail but more then that I don't want any one who didn't have a dad around go through that as well, especial my own kids who didn't ask for any of this. Well more news as it develops.
  • Current Mood
    distressed distressed

(no subject)

Well another day has begun. I've been having trouble sleeping and up until last nigh I had been up for a few days. I really like this live journal, I have one on my word program but I think having feed back will be nice. I have court tomorrow and I'm worried about it. I'm hoping I won't go to jail but that's the hard part because you never know. I've been doing alright other then that. My friend Dave turned me on to this site and I'm really glad he did. He knows how much I like to write. It's kind of funny that since I got the internet he and I have only talked through IM's instead of on the telephone like we normally do. Well I don't have much more to say but maybe later.
  • Current Mood
    geeky geeky

A breif preview into my wrting.

            Rain poured down in heavy sheets. Clouds blotted out the sky leaving nothing but the darkness. Fog drifted through the streets leaving the night blind. Ice formed where the rain had found its final resting place. In an ally beneath the coverings of the night a man stood over the dead body of his best friend. Felling the settle beat and warmth in his hand he realized it felt good, but what was this new felling in his hand that gave him so much power. Looking into his hand he saw the heart of all power, his friends beating heart. Watching the heart take its last beats and the blood mix with the rain made his stomach growl, the hunger became unbearable. Raising the beat less heart to his lips, taking a good whiff of it, he opened his big gaping mouth and tore a large chunk off. Grinding the meat in between his teeth and letting blood drip from his mouth down his check, he was filled with the satisfaction of ending life. Finishing the heart he bent down to his friend, leaning close to his ear, in it he whispered. “Game over.” Standing and felling full of life he wiped his face and walked out of the ally.


            Gorge walked out of the Lockwood county offices feeling on top of the world, he had been hoping for a promotion for three months and was worried the new guy might get it, after all he is younger and able to handle clients with out having to take care of anything at home, While Gorge had to leave on occasion to take care of his son who suffered from Downsyndrom and although he had a mild case there were days where his son had told him he was sorry for being such a burden, Gorge was appalled when he heard his son say this and told him to never think such things. Gorge knew it was hard on his son especially since his mother left the day she was released from the hospital and told Gorge she would never have anything to do with a freak and that his son was now his problem. But today was different, today was a day to go home take his son in his arms and celebrate the good news.